Archive for Betsey Brogan

Profile Picture + One

By Guest Blogger, Betsey Brogan.

“The younger generation” has grumbled about how the average age on Facebook is old enough to be grandparents. No, it didn’t start out that way. But, as time goes on, more of us who have seen lots of birthdays have found joy in reconnecting with long time friends through Facebook.

Unlike many things in our hectic lives, it’s easy to log on and learn about friends, see and share pictures, and jot a note – all in the time it takes to eat breakfast. We’re able to write to people, who. because of distance and time, had fallen off our to-do lists; people with whom re-connecting does the heart some good.

Then I post a picture of myself and my same sex partner. Yikes! Talk about stepping out onto a whole new platform of risky.

The way I look at it, though, is that some, those who don’t know about my 10 year relationship, may be surprised. But if we are to be authentic in our “sharing,” I want them to know about my house and home, which includes this fantastic woman who wants to be with me in the good and bad for the rest of my life.

Others may see my profile pic and say to themselves:,“I guess I don’t want to ‘friend’ her after all.” And to them I say, “It’s my life, and it’s up to me whether I want to live it authentically or live in such a way that is easier for others to take.

When I first came out to my Dad many, many years ago, his first response was, “Your mother and I will always love you, just don’t tell anyone OK?” Bless his heart. Over time, he came to realize that being gay wasn’t fatal and what truly matters is how a person loves, lives and contributes to her community.

Posting a picture of my partner and me may be risky. I’ll never know what those who regretted “friending” me thought when they saw it. I do know that it has welcomed some of my friends from the past to seek me out as counsel, in regards to how to interact with their gay children. That is really an honor.

Something about living out loud, and risking being authentic, has signaled to my dear friends, that I am a safe place for tough questions they are asking themselves. What an honor, really. And how reaffirming that I can live a life I am proud of.

So, Dad, if you are listening, “I don’t go out of my way to tell anyone I am gay, just as you don’t tell anyone that you are an American. It’s just who I am.”

Live your life to the fullest, live with integrity, and don’t be surprised if someday someone asks you questions from their heart. What a gift those ‘heart to heart’ talks are. What a precious gift.

This post originally appeared as a part of True Voices’ RiskADay project, which has now concluded.

 is on her way to creating World Peace – one massage at a time. On-site Chair Massage and In-Home table massage. Bringing Stress Relief to You.

Red Light, Green Light – Time for a Change?

By Guest Blogger, Betsey Brogan.

Why is it so difficult for me to give myself a break?

I hope it’s not going to take my whole life until I learn the importance of rest. How ironic! But sometimes it certainly feels that way.

If I go on vacation, change my location, turn off all connections to the world, then I can take a break. But what if I need to do this right here at home? There always seems to be something that has to be done, someone I need to call, something that must be crossed off the list.

One lesson I learned while I attended massage school was that pain is the body’s way of communicating to us that something is out of balance. For example, carpal tunnel syndrome may be the body’s way of telling you that you are working too many hours, or that you may to rethink your ergonomics at your workplace. The pain in your wrist may be your body’s way of telling you that something needs to change.

From Wikipedia, we learn that homeostasis (from Greek: homoios, “similar”; and histēmi, “standing still”;) is the property of a system that regulates its internal environment and tends to maintain a stable, constant condition. When our bodies are out of homeostasis, they start to communicate to us this need for change.

When systems are out of balance, things begin to break down.

We all know the importance of eating right, getting plenty of rest and exercise. But when we slack on any of these self-maintenance habits, our bodies don’t work at their best. And we get uncomfortable, cranky, and/or sick.

It really is true that the world will go on without us. Things that need to get done will get done. Therefore, it’s essential that we learn to listen to our bodies when they tell us to stop.

It quite literally is a life lesson.

I don’t know about you, but the next time my body tells me to slow down, I am going to listen.

What a lifesaver!

Note: This post originally appeared on True Voices’ RiskADay blog project, which has now concluded.

 is on her way to creating World Peace – one massage at a time. On-site Chair Massage and In-Home table massage. Bringing Stress Relief to You.

Friendship: Risky Business

By guest blogger, Betsey Brogan

I think sometimes just getting out of bed is risky. Seriously, there are sometimes when it would just be easier to stay in the warm bed, pull up the covers and say “Nope” to the day. As I gain in life’s experiences (read: get older), I am figuring out what is precious, what is important and what is worth getting out of bed for. We were put on this earth with a ton of other humans. Oh sure, we could get by in life living with animals; I like my dog better than A LOT of people I know. But if we are to be honest with ourselves, we (like Barbara Streisand says) really need people, and are the luckiest people in the world. Because a friend can do so much. Sure, we are women (and men): hear us roar. But, how much more glorious is it when we roar together!

But/and friendships are tricky. At this stage in life, I have had forever friends and I have had friends for an hour. But I know that on this journey, my path is gonna have potholes and friends will help me navigate all those tricky spots. Grandma Bobbie used to say, “To have a friend, you need to be a friend.” There is the rub – that involves listening and doing for, and here is the trickiest part: risking intimacy!

Yikes! Better to pull up the covers than to open up, be vulnerable, be honest, be nice. All of that is exhausting.

But I think as I journey on, I am gonna get out of bed. I am gonna make a phone call. I am gonna share my feelings. I am gonna risk my heart. Even though my Golden Retriever loves me with all her being, she can’t make me chicken soup when I have the sniffles. She can’t help me with the tough questions as my Dad ages. She can’t drive me to the ER when I break my ankle. She could if she would, but she can’t. So, in order for us to survive the game of life, we gotta have friends. Take a risk, open up. And tomorrow, you will have a reason to get out of bed: your friend has two tickets to see the Red Sox play and needs a friend to drive her to the stadium. “Play ball!”

Betsey Brogan is on her way to creating World Peace – one massage at a time. On-site Chair Massage and In-Home table massage. Bringing Stress Relief to You.

This post originally appeared on RiskADay.com.

Toot My Horn!

By guest blogger, Betsey Brogan

It took all the gumption I have, plus encouragement from both my sisters and my partner, but I did it by golly! I tooted my horn all over the place today. I have been tinkering with an idea for awhile. Rolling around in my mind. Playing with it. But I never let the idea out to play until yesterday. I asked for more time to do what I love which is giving massage. I had to make the request out loud that they allow me to be there another day. The response was fair : we’ll give it a try for a couple weeks for you to prove that it should be done. Well, that was just the opportunity I had been waiting for. But it was gonna take something strange that doesn’t come from me very often. I had to ask for help. I had to write up why my massage is so amazing that more people need to take part in it. That wasn’t the hard part. I love talking about how wonderful massage is. The hard part was asking people to help me get the word out. Asking folks to take a minute of their time to chat with me about how amazing massage is , so that they in turn would help me spread the word.

Good news!  I asked and I received!  Everyone was open to listening to me. They could tell how excited I was to talk about what I do. They were more than willing to help me in anyway they could.

So, thank you partner for believing in me. Thank you siblings for your tremendous support. I tooted my horn, and I lived to tell about it.

This risking stuff is working!

Betsey Brogan is on her way to creating World Peace – one massage at a time. On-site Chair Massage and In-Home table massage. Bringing Stress Relief to You.

This post originally appeared on RiskADay.com.

The YES of Snow!

By guest blogger, Betsey Brogan

Living in the South, we rarely get snow, let alone 5 inches. I grew up in Illinois, then lived for years in Colorado. I have had my share of snow and all that comes with it: cold, treacherous roads, loss of electricity, work missed, travel plans interrupted, and layer upon layer of cold weather garb. I have suffered my fair share of being stranded, being stuck, having my car lose control on the ice, frostbite and other not fun events.

I got so cold one time while skiing that I became disoriented and tried to resume skiing going UP hill! My car spun out of control driving to a ski lodge and performed three 360s, while I sang a loud rendition of “The Hills Are Alive” because I was so afraid! Once on a 10 mile cross country ski trip I laid down because I was so tired and told the rest of the group to go on without me and come back later to find my remains. (I did make it back, but only because my friend sang every song he knew to keep my mind off of how cold and exhausted I was.)

Tell me why then, when the snow began to come down steadily here in Atlanta, Georgia, all I could do was look out the window and say “Yes!!!”? My heart took flight and I squealed out in joy like a 9 year old girl. Snowday, snowday, Snowday!! I haven’t been in school for years, and for me a snow day means a loss in income, so why was I so darn excited?!? Why did seeing that snow come barreling down and accumulating on my car make me happy?! Why was I thrilled?

The snow coming down when you are snug in your home is beautiful. As it blankets my surroundings, it becomes a winter wonderland. There is such a newness to it and especially here in the South, a novelty. There is a quiet that comes with the snow that is comforting. The air is crisp.

During this snowday, I have often thought of folks not as fortunate as myself for whom this weather really is a hardship. The shelters are packed these cold and snowy days. Some people are without power. Some folks are hungry and cold. I say a little prayer for those in need.

I can’t help but feel a little wistful as I remember those nights as a child when I went to bed thinking tomorrow will be a snowday and I won’t have school. This is nature’s way of giving a kid a day off from school. How cool is that?

I don’t see any harm in enjoying a snowday. I have tried today to work at the desk, being productive. It ain’t gonna happen. My heart is still flipping from the joy I felt last night when the first flakes came down and I knew that thetoday would be a snowday. YES!

So here is the RiskADay challenge as it relates to a snowday. The next time nature comes along and gives you reason to delight in its beauty, say: Wow! The next time you are given the unexpected opportunity to take a day off work, say OKAY. The next time mother nature comes to your window and creates a beautiful landscape using her skills and your front yard say: THANK YOU. The next time you you are gifted with a snowday: say YES!

Betsey Brogan is on her way to creating World Peace – one massage at a time. On-site Chair Massage and In-Home table massage. Bringing Stress Relief to You.

This post originally appeared on RiskADay.com